I had my last viola lesson with my teacher yesterday. It made me kind of sad. Yes, I usually dreaded going to lessons because I never really felt prepared for her honesty. But I’ve grown so much as a player because of those lessons. It just felt weird, is all. The end of my college career is in sight and that makes me feel very weird. It was bizarre enough to not have real classes this semester (for the first time since kindergarten).

I’m figuring out my student teaching situation at the moment. I have a placement, thank goodness, and she’s the teacher I requested specifically. There are just a few details to sort out concerning transportation and important dates and such. I’m so excited! This is what I’ve been looking forward to for so many years! I didn’t get the same awesome Practicum experience as my peers because my teacher up and left. I had to get my hours by tagging along with someone else which meant I was more of an observer than anything else. I helped here and there. It’s just frustrating to see my younger peers having a great practicum experience and seeing the same kids every time and getting signed thank you cards, etc, when I didn’t get anything close to that. This spring, though, will definitely make up for it!

December graduation is tomorrow. This is when I should have graduated if it wasn’t for my first failed jury. It’ll be hard to see my peers graduate but I want to be there to support them. Besides, I haven’t heard much from them so I don’t really feel as connected to them as I once did. Gina and Geoff are still part of my life and two of my best friends. But the others…I dunno. They’re still my friends but I feel like the outcast. I fell from their ranks but I didn’t join anyone else’s.

I feel like I’m whining a lot today. Let’s stop that.

Things in general are going well. I think I got the whole choral ensemble requirement figured out. I’m not 100% sure though. I went to the rest of the rehearsals and performances for this semester so hopefully that helps my case. I’ve had the free time to read and to write and to bake and all sorts of stuff. It’s wonderful. I just wish I could figure out a way to fund my hobbies. I haven’t done any other sewing projects because I haven’t had the money to. Job searching has become kind of pointless since I don’t know what hours I’ll be available in January and once student teaching starts I won’t be available at all. Thankfully I still have the private lessons that I teach. And I’m real good at saving money. So I’m not too worried. I know Michael is.

Christmas is coming up fast. I’m so excited for Michael to open the presents I got him! He’s going to love them! And I have no idea what he got me. He always thinks that he’s bad at presents and at surprises but I’ve never thought that. Most times I’m completely surprised by what he gets me! And they’re always good choices. I, on the other hand, am the worst at presents. I’m not good at surprising people. I think one of Michael’s will be a pleasant surprise but that’s it. Also, I suck at wrapping presents. I’m seriously the worst.

Damn it, I said I was going to stop whining.

Anyways, the year is almost over but I don’t feel like I’m done everything I’ve wanted to do this year. Let’s hope I can manage to get those things checked off before it’s too late!



About findingherforte

Christine-ism: The belief that you need to be thankful for what you have. But still strive for more. The belief that failure isn't a roadblock it's just an obstacle. The belief that sometimes words can't help but a smile can. The belief that only you know who you truly are but that shouldn't stop you from sharing your feelings. The belief that the chance of me changing the world may be slim but I still aim for it

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